County Fair Update #2

So I go to pick up my county fair cakes today...second and third place, and ask if I can see the scorecard and how they scored. The teenage girl helping me said there are no scorecards, the judge just writes down what place the cake is. Then she says, "I was there...I can tell you what she said..."

Oh please do.

Are you ready for this???

My third place cake...the crooked one...was painted fondant, and I wanted it to look like watercolor. The judge was displeased b/c she could see white through the paint. Um, no you can't. The paint is less in some places, just like in watercolor. She was also not happy with silk flowers. I like real flowers, but they sure wouldn't have held up now, would they? Also, the judge did not like the fact that I used a ribbon on the cake.

But here is where I am really, really ticked. The reason my dog cake didn't place first is b/c in the judge's opinion, all of that could not have been made in cake. Then she asked the audience if any of them could do it, and they all said no, so she decided it couldn't be done. Of the five audience members, one told me she was going to enter a cake, but it collapsed since it was her first time working with fondant. Again, THERE WERE NO OTHER CAKES ENTERED!!! Please tell me how ANY of these people were qualified to judge. I mean, seriously...I can't paint a Picasso, but it doesn't mean it can't be done.

Now, the house is actual cake. The dog, of course, is fondant, as is the mailbag. The hydrant, bone and ball are styrofoam, which is fine according to the rules as long as it is something that COULD be achieved with cake. I have in fact done all those shapes in cake. I did not choose to do that for the fair 1. Because I didn't have to, 2. The transportation would have been a nightmare, 3. I have seen what the cakes look like after being on display...people poke them and ruin them...I didn't want MY name on a ruined cake, with people saying it looked like crap! 4. Once you drop off your entry, it is out of your control. Trust me when I say that people who don't know cakes do NOT carry them properly.

I am just so, so irritated. I think next year I will make a three tier buttercream white wedding cake, sixties style, on the plastic columns, and since our county is so hick and conservative I will make the wedding couple be two dudes, just to mess with everyone. Maybe I'll put a big ol' rainbow in the background, too.

And with that, I will close out my drama on the county fair!